No More Summer Crickets
Chirp! Chirp! Splat!
"Eww! Bird dudey!"
"Speaking of dudey, wheres the bathroom?"
"Look a turkey!" Zander said pointing in the direction of a moving bush with red feathers. Okay it was a turkey, but it looked like a bush. The forest filled with the sound of my family's voices. Suddenly I here the Jurassic Park Theme song.
"Luke, only nature sounds please. We're in the forest." The next thing i hear is tons of birds and water, then a storm. I look to the sky in despair, but its clear as crystal. Then i realize, it's Luke's phone. I burst out laughing and roll around on a table that was set out at our campsite.
"You said nature sounds." Luke tranquilly reminded my mom. This was already a fun trip, and it had only just begun. We were really hyper so we decided to go on a hike. However, nobody told me it was a 3 and 1/2 mile hike. I so did not want to go on the hike, but i kept it to myself.
I groaned as i trudged along the wretched path on which i would be walking on for what would seem like forever. We finally reached close to the top, and i felt relief rush over me when my dad said we were almost there. my legs burned, my nose was thriving over the smell of the barbecue, 1/2 a mile away, and my mouth was dry without water. I was so mad i decided to go, but i guess it's good for the soul. I sat down on a big boulder at the top with relief that the long journey had come to an end. My legs were already recovering, until my dad said, " Okay, lets start the downhill." WHAT!?!?!? I've just gone for two hours uphill, and all i get is a five minute break until you expect me to go for hours downhill?!?!?! Okay, maybe it wouldn't be more than an hour but still! I guess i was okay with it because Luke was there to entertain us with the 1/2 of his phone call we could here, his non-stop laughing, and his undefinable gestures. When we reached the steepest part, my mom's shoe lace came untied. She bent down to tie it but almost fell over, so she had Luke wrap one arm around a tree that was luckily close bye, and with the other hand grasp her pony tail. You can't imagine how funny it was to see nincompoop Luke wrapped around a tree, grasping his mother's pony tail, and still on the phone! I would've cracked up if it hadn't been for the lack of energy in my small body.
The downhill didn't last as long as i thought it would and we were soon back at camp. When i regained my energy, which only took about five minutes, i found that i was incredibly hungry.
"I'm hungry." i suddenly shouted out of my hyperness that i found within ten minutes after returning from the long stroll.
"Jules, the closest restaurant is at least twenty minutes away."
"I know." I sincerely exclaimed
"Sure." said my dad giving into my puppy dog face. So off we go to eat dinner at Wrongs Branch, twenty minutes away. We walk in and there is a huge wall piled to the top in stuffed animals. I must have melted where i stood as my jaw dropped to the ground, pulling me with it. I got anxious as i looked at the wall, but i was able to contain myself until after we had ordered our food. I, of course, ran straight back to the mound of heaven right away. There were so many to chose from, but so little time. Luckily, within ten minutes, i had it narrowed down to a blue moose named Bloose, who would've thought, a blue moose named Bloose, and a chocolate lab puppy named Puppers. In the end, i chose Puppers and returned to my table. Looking back, i wish i would've picked Bloose, but i returned to my table to eat with satisfaction.
After we ate, we returned to our campsite and told jokes around the fire. We also made a few. After a few hours of inhaling the smoke, we were getting tired. Thats when it started. Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! Chirp! The endless cry of the summer crickets.
"Ugh." everybody groaned.
"Well, bed time." I said. Everybody silently agreed as we headed to our tent while my brother put out the fire. In the night, the sleeping order was dad, mom, me, Luke, and Zander, but by the time we woke up, dad didn't have a bed, mom was on dad's bed, i was on mom's bed, and Luke and Zander were on my bed, leaving two beds empty and the tent nearley tipped over. We got up, packed, piled in the car, and then went to eat at a resteraunt called miner's diner where i got a giant shake and pancakes. The glasses were shaped like boots and they gave out cards like the ace of spades as table numbers. In the gift shop next door, my brothers and i went to the candy mine and got tons of candy for the drive home. We then looked around at the statues, got ice-cream, and went across the street to look at stuffed animals and fire-places while my mom bought a pie for my Aunt. We then returned home with great satisfaction and sore legs.
Looking back at that camping trip, i really enjoyed it. The hike wasn't that painful, and we had a lot of fun over all. We're going to Alpine in a month, I can't imagine what we'll do there, but one thing's for sure, it's winter which means, no more summer crickets.
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5 comments:
I like your story because you used a lot of good explaining words and your satisfaction
Julia,
i think you try to cover to much here. what is your focus? what is this really about? some if this vocabulary does not work.
Julia,
You did a great job at describing the moment. I think that you need to check you grammar and puncutation. I could totally imagine being with you in your camping trip.
I agree with what Sam said and also good showing your emotion in the camp.
Content:You use descriptive sentences and words, however you over use most of them.
Style:You use dialogue to describe emotions and you write descriptively.
Tone:You can work on describing. maybe add sound, and feeling. At some times your writing is confusing.
Sentence structure:You have sentence length and variety.
If i were you.
I would be proud of the memory that i wrote about.
I would make it shorter and easy er to understand.
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